


the people we love, we leave behind

by anakien



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015), Star Wars Original Trilogy, Star Wars: Rebels
Genre: (basically I try to be funny but I'm not), AU, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Attempt at Humor, Ezra needs Caf, Gen, Luke needs some peace, MAJOR angst i'm warning ya, warning: character death, will add tags as story progresses
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-01
Updated: 2016-10-02
Packaged: 2018-07-11 12:00:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 12,530
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7049827
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anakien/pseuds/anakien
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Within the Resistance, there have always been rumors of a second Jedi Master, hidden away in exile due to untold tragedy. And yet, that's the last thing Rey expected to find on her journey to save the Galaxy. </p><p>or, </p><p>the story of how Ezra Bridger's sole purpose on Ahch-To is to ruin Luke's life (and how he got there).</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Discovery

**Author's Note:**

> I have been planning out this story since APRIL and am super excited to finally be writing this! This AU's become my baby for the last few weeks. 
> 
> The title will probably make more sense in future chapters; this one is just a basic intro to the AU. It's a song lyric from "Falling Away" by Big Scary. 
> 
> The bolded text is Artoo, and italics are Rey's thoughts. 
> 
> Enjoy? :D

When the Millennium Falcon first breached Ahch-To's atmosphere, Rey's jaw dropped. 

"There's so much water," she whispered. Chewie glanced over at her for a moment, much like the way Han did on Takodana; he tilted the controls for the Falcon down towards the water, barely above the surface. Water sprayed up on both sides, and Rey threw back her head and giggled. 

Chewie looped around the largest island before slowly settling the ship down. Artoo rolled out into the pilot's cabin and whistled. 

**The cave entrance to the Temple is on the other side; however, there are two sets of stairs leading to the top. There is a high probability that Luke will be waiting up there for you.**

"I know, Artoo; I saw them, too," Rey said. Artoo beeped something sarcastic and wheeled off. Rey sighed and shook her head. 

She stood up, grabbed her staff, and looked at Chewie. "Well, what are we waiting for?" 

He howled. 

\---

Rey stepped off the Falcon and took in her surroundings. There was just so much _color_. The blue of the ocean extended as far out as she could see, with green and black mountains dotting the skyline. 

Rey turned, and up the side of the nearest mountain were the first set of ancient, worn stone steps. She started her hike, turning back once to look at Chewie and Artoo and wave. Chewie howled an encouragement, and Rey turned back to continue her journey. 

The stairs seemed endless, and Rey really wished she had her speeder, especially for the journey back down. She finally reached the top clearing and huffed with exertion. The clearing was framed by several small, cracking stone structures. 

"Whoa," Rey said under her breath. She reached out to touch one of the structures and ran her hand down over the crack. Rey walked on, fingers brushing the surface of every structure she passed. She looked on to the other side of the clearing; the tips of the other set of stairs peeked over unevenly.

All of a sudden, Rey sensed a blinding light presence behind her, and she stumbled. It was just as bright as General Organa's, if not brighter. She turned around, and a cloaked man was standing forty feet away with his back towards her. 

_Luke,_ Her stomach twisted, and she gaped for what felt like hours. She stumbled forward a bit, her knees weak with awe. The butterflies in her stomach whirled. 

Finally, he slowly turned around to face her. He reached up and flicked back his hood. She drank in the sight of his face. He'd grown a lot older than he was in the holos Leia showed her. The blonde in his hair had faded to white, and so had his beard. 

His eyes were just as blue as they'd been thirty years ago. 

Rey blinked. She didn't know what she'd been expecting, but this wasn't it. Slowly, she reached into her duffle and pulled out the lightsaber - his lightsaber - and held it out towards him. 

His gaze flickered down to his lightsaber and then back up to her face, the conflict clear in his eyes. 

All of a sudden, the silence was broken by the sound of echoing footsteps. 

Rey froze. _Someone else is here,_ she realized. Her head snapped up, and she clenched her staff tight with her other hand. 

Another man's head poked up from ascending the stairs. He had long black hair streaked with gray and dark blue eyes. Seemingly unaware of the moment he'd just intruded upon, he stopped behind Luke, reading the back of an empty box clutched in his hand. 

"Hey, Luke, do we have any more Caf, or will I have to run out and-" The man reached the top of the stairs and looked up at Luke. His gaze followed Luke's to Rey, and then down to the lightsaber she was still holding out. He dropped the box of Caf, and it tumbled down the steps. 

Luke closed his eyes in exasperation and let out a long, calming breath.

"Well," the man said. He grinned weakly at Rey. "Karabast!"


	2. Meet Ezra

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where Rey tells her story, Luke meets some old friends, and Ezra gets some much needed Caf.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't expect to post this one so fast! This next chapter is gonna be the first of Ezra's flashbacks/stories, and I am so, so excited to write it! However, I get my wisdom teeth out tomorrow, so it may be a while before it is posted.
> 
> Sorry the chapter summary sucks.
> 
> Hope y'all enjoy!

"Well," the man said. He stepped up beside Master Luke and shrugged. He patted him heavily on the back. "You knew this was gonna happen eventually." 

Luke met the man's knowing gaze and sighed. He walked up to Rey and slowly took the lightsaber from her, running his biotic hand over the sleek silver. Rey had polished it on her way here, in the hopes of trying to impress the esteemed Master a little bit. 

"It's been a long time since I've held this," he said, eyebrows raised. "The last time I saw it I dropped it in a duel with my father. Where did you get it?" 

"Maz Kanata gave it to my friend," Rey said. Luke smiled at the mention of Maz and mumbled something along the lines of 'I should've known.' She swallowed. "Finn - my friend - and I used it when we fought Kylo Ren. Maz said it's calling to me. I don't want it; it's yours... you should have it." 

Luke's face fell at the mention of his former student. The man cleared his throat and stepped up behind Luke, resting a hand on his shoulder. 

"Maybe we should go sit down somewhere and talk about this more," he suggested. He turned to face Rey. "What's your name, kid?" 

"Rey," she said in a small voice. Leia didn't tell her what to do in case Luke wasn't alone. 

"Ezra Bridger, rebel extraordinaire, known for saving the Galaxy once or twice." He gave her a cocky grin and held out a hand; she shook it, immediately taking a liking to him. "Heard of me?" 

Rey pursed her lips in mock-thought and shook her head. "The General didn't say anything about you being here," she said honestly. Then she narrowed her eyes. "And if you're a rebel, then why aren't you fighting with the Resistance?" 

Ezra blinked at her in surprise and laughed. "Before your time." He turned to Luke. "I like her," he said. "Dibs on teaching." Luke rolled his eyes and waved a hand, gesturing for them to follow him. 

As they turned to go down the stairs leading into the mountain, Ezra turned back to Rey. "You wouldn't happen to have any Caf on your ship back there, would ya?" 

\---

Several hours later, surrounded by several cold, empty cups of Caf, Rey finally finished telling Luke and Ezra her story. The sun had begun to set outside, showing off brilliant reds and oranges, and also showing how much time had passed. Rey had started her story about her being left on Jakku and told all the way up to her getting to pilot the Falcon with Chewie. 

When she got to the part where Kylo killed Han, Luke had to excuse himself to go outside for a few minutes, and she heard Chewbacca howl mournfully from outside on the steps. 

When Chewie saw Luke for the first time, he rushed forward and hugged him, dangling his feet off the ground. Luke had laughed and patted his arm until he had set him down. It kind of surprised Rey; to her it seemed like the only emotions Luke felt were of sorrow and regret. 

But right now, Master Luke had gotten up and was crouched down in front of Artoo, gently rubbing the top of his dome and nodding occasionally as the droid whistled and beeped excitedly. Chewie had gone back down to the Falcon to sleep, leaving Rey and Ezra sitting at the table alone. She was idly twirling her cup in small circles. 

Ezra was looking over at the pair fondly. "I had an astromech once," he said. 

Rey perked up. After she'd become friends with BB-8, it introduced her to every other droid the Resistance to continue to practice her binary. "Really? What model?" 

"C1-10P." Rey racked her brain for any details she knew about this model and came up empty. When Ezra saw that she looked confused, he continued. "He was old, even for my time. From the Clone War. And he wasn't really mine; he belonged to my Captain." He looked down in remembrance. "His name was Chopper. His logic circuits were totally blown out, because he would zap anyone who moved." 

Rey wrinkled her nose. "He sounds... interesting," she said. Ezra hummed noncommittally, lost in thought, and the two sat in silence for a few moments watching Artoo and Luke. "What happened to him?" She suddenly asked. Ezra turned back towards her with an eyebrow raised. "Chopper, I mean." 

Ezra frowned a little bit, and Rey noticed she'd hit a touchy subject. She could sense his emotions darkening in the force and dropped it. She looked back down at the table and traced a scratch with her fingernail. 

"You're a Jedi, too, aren't you?" Rey asked. "I think I can tell what you're feeling right now." 

Ezra perked back up. "You can? I typically don't shield my emotions when it's just Luke and I." With that, all sense of his excitement and lingering sadness disappeared. "And yes, to answer your question, I am. Kanan Jarrus was my master. He was only a Padawan when The Empire took over. He found me on Lothal when I was fourteen, and his crew took me in. Eventually he began to train me." Ezra said. "There were six of us: me, Kanan, a Mandalorian explosives expert named Sabine, a lasat warrior named Zeb, Chopper, and then Hera, our Captain." 

Recognition sparked in Rey's mind. "Hera Syndulla? The famous Twi'Leki pilot?" 

Ezra furrowed his brow but grinned. "Yeah, that's her. How'd you know about her?" 

"I overheard one of the Resistance pilots - Poe Dameron - talking about one of her missions; I think they were going to try one of her flying strategies against the First Order. He was talking about how she was one of the best pilots in the galaxy." 

Ezra shook his head in amazement. "She was the best kriffing pilot I've ever seen," he said. "She's actually the one who taught me to fly." 

"She did?!" Rey's eyes lit up. "I want to be a great pilot, too. Do you think you could teach me some tricks?" She looked up at him hopefully. 

Ezra laughed. "Luke's definitely the one to help you with that. I know the basics; he's definitely the prodigy flier." He waved a hand in Luke's direction. 

Rey bit her lip and nodded. She looked from Ezra to Luke and at the fond way Ezra was watching him. "So how did you end up here, too?" 

Ezra snorted. "Alright, kid, I'll bite. I know you've been trying to get me to tell you my story for the last ten minutes." Rey's cheeks flamed; she thought she was being subtle. In truth, she really had been trying to learn more; don't get her wrong, she still wanted to talk to Master Luke... she just wasn't sure if he was ready to talk to her just yet. 

Ezra's eyes took on a faraway look. "It all started back on Alderaan..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had a lot of fun tying in little pieces of TFA in with Rebels in this! 
> 
> Personal Headcanon: everyone knows who Space Mom is & she gets the credit she deserves. 
> 
> I hope everyone is largely in character. I really need a Beta to help me with characterization lol. Come talk to me on Tumblr!
> 
> R&R! We get into the _real_ angst next chapter. ;)


	3. Alderaan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the years to come, they'll call it The Disaster. Ezra doesn't call it anything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woo! Chapter 3! I'm so glad to finally be putting it up; I've worked hard on this for the whole last week. You know, when I wasn't drugged out of my mind on painkillers. Speaking of which, my wisdom teeth surgery went pretty well; I kept asking my mother where my lightsaber was... 
> 
> The first section of this chapter is a flashback, so it's all in italics. (Well, basically this whole chapter is Ezra's retelling of his past to Rey, so I guess you could say it's all a flashback... But I digress). Any other italicized words are typically used for emphasis, talking through the Force (in a bond or something), or showing the thoughts of a character. Anything that is meant to be italicized in the flashback part but can't be because it's ALL in italics is bolded. Chopper-speak is also bolded. 
> 
> This is the chapter in which the title and the song lyrics will make sense. ;) Warning for character death and angst like _woah._ I also changed the tags for this chapter, but left the rating G. Nothing is graphic.
> 
> Good luck and enjoy!

-  
_*flashback*_  
-

_"Kanan?" Ezra lightly knocked on the door to Kanan's room on the Ghost. Kanan cracked open one eye from his meditating and looked up at his Padawan. The Force around the kid was practically crawling with unease and curiosity, and with a quick glance at the clock, Kanan assumed Ezra had had another nightmare. He beckoned Ezra to come take a seat next to him, and the teenager sat down quietly in front of him._

_"Something on your mind?" Kanan opened his other eye and settled back, waiting patiently as Ezra squirmed a little bit._

_"I was looking at your holocron at some of Master Skywalker's lessons," Ezra began. He squirmed around some more. "And he was talking about some sort of bond between Master and Padawan where you can hear each other's thoughts."_

_Kanan's stomach sunk, already knowing where this conversation was heading. "And you're asking... what exactly?" He said slowly._

_Ezra looked up. "Why don't we have one of those?" He blurted out. "Do we not have a strong enough bond? Are we even a real Master-Apprenticeship?" He quickly covered his mouth over the last question and looked up with horror at the slip. Kanan looked taken aback._

**Stupid,** Ezra cursed himself mentally. 

_Kanan remained silent for a moment and then took a deep breath, trying to think of the best way to explain this._

_"What Master Skywalker said is right - some Jedi did have bonds like that. Some Masters used it to teach their apprentices certain lessons, and it was incredibly valuable in communicating over long distances, depending on if the bond was strong enough." Ezra opened up his mouth to say something, and Kanan held up a hand to cut him off, mustering up the strength to continue with the hard part._

_"You're wrong, Ezra, we do already have a bond. Granted, it's weaker, which is why we can't hear each other's thoughts, but it still exists. You can feel it, if you reach out for my presence through it. Just because we can't communicate telepathically doesn't mean we aren't a 'true' Master/Apprentice duo." He tried to grin reassuringly at Ezra. Ezra was still looking at him, slightly frowning._

_"Well, how do we make it so we can do that? Do you know how great that would be on missions? Or if we-"_

_Kanan held up his hand again, a pained look on his face. "It's... It's not like that. A bond like that takes years to mature. Even Master Skywalker and Ahsoka didn't have a bond as complex as that."_

_Ezra still looked confused. "We've been together for almost two years, though, haven't we?"_

_Kanan took a deep breath, mentally praying to anyone who was listening that he didn't hurt his Padawan's feelings with this. "Ezra, the reason I haven't fully extended our bond yet is because I haven't done it yet."_

_The hurt flashed across Ezra's face and shone in his eyes. Almost immediately, the teen threw up his mental shields, as rudimentary as they were, but Kanan still felt the sharp sting of Ezra's hurt before he blocked it. "Are you ashamed of me or something? Is it because I didn't grow up in the Order?"_

_Kanan was affronted. "No! That's not what I meant at all." He held up both hands in a pleading way. His eyes were completely sincere, and Ezra slowly lowered his shield, waiting for him to explain. "What I mean is... I'm scared to."_

_Ezra blinked in confusion. He'd never Kanan looked so ashamed. "You're... scared to? What's so scary about that?"_

_Kanan pinched the bridge of his nose and closed his eyes. This really wasn't how he pictured his night planning on going, this bringing up of old, not-so-fond memories._

_"When a bond breaks, it's one of the most painful feelings a Jedi can experience, especially depending on the strength of the bond. When I because Master Billaba's Padawan, she created our training bond; and when she was killed by the clones, it was one of the worst things I've ever felt." Kanan rubbed a hand over the side of his face and looked over at Ezra. "I want to protect you from that, in case anything ever went wrong on a mission."_

_Ezra was frowning slightly, deep in thought. "I don't think you'll have to worry about that."_

_Kanan raised an eyebrow. "Oh? And why is that?"_

_Ezra's frown faded into a cocky grin. "Because we're too good for anything bad to happen."_

_Kanan blinked in surprise and tried unsuccessfully to stop his laugh. He put his hand on the side of Ezra's head and gently pushed him away. Still giggling, Ezra got up to his feet and turned to go back to his room._

_"Good night, Master," he said. His curiosity and unease had diminished greatly in the Force, leaving behind trails of general satisfaction and faint traces of disappointment._

_Kanan took a deep breath and closed his eyes, stretching out his bond towards Ezra. He threw all of his feelings regarding Ezra - the pride and awe of how much of a fast learner, the slight fatigue of putting up with his non-stop antics, the assurance that he would do whatever it would take to protect and care for him, and how much he wanted to him happy - and threw it into the bond, deepening it immensely. He reached out within it._

**Good night, my Padawan.**

_The look of absolute delight on Ezra's face made it all worth it._

-  
_*end of flashback*_  
-

-  
**TIME:** roughly 192 hours (8 days) before the destruction of Alderaan

 **LOCATION:** Rebellion HQ on Alderaan

-

"Captain Syndulla, Master Jarrus, it's a pleasure to meet you again." Bail Organa smiled warmly at the two as they approached and held out a hand. Hera shook it, and Kanan followed, bowing a little in respect. Chopper followed along behind them, whistling something spitefully about how he didn't get a welcome. Hera ignored him.

"Likewise, Viceroy Organa," Hera said respectfully. "And please, just Hera is fine."

"In that case, call me Bail," he said. The polite look upon his face faded into one of concern. "However, I'm sorry to inform you that this isn't merely a trip for pleasantries; we have a slight... situation on our hands."

Kanan raised an eyebrow over his blindfold. "Do we need to bring in the rest of our crew?"

The Viceroy hesitated. "Not quite yet. Just Young Master Bridger. And he's currently with Leia, so I can call them both in. She probably needs to get going on her mission, anyway."

He pulled out a communicator from his pocket and flipped it open, pressing a button. A tiny, giggling image of his adopted daughter popped up. Only one side of her hair was twisted up into a bun, the other half lay straight down her back.

"Leia, is Padawan Bridger still with you?" Bail asked.

"Say no," the muffled voice of the teen in question said. Leia giggled again, and Hera covered an amused smile. Kanan smacked a hand over his blindfold and groaned in exasperation.

"Ezra," he began. Hera chuckled under her breath from next to him, but immediately stifled it with a glance from the Viceroy.

At the sound of his master's voice, the teen immediately popped in the picture beside Leia. He put one finger on the side of Leia's head, and she began twisting her other bun around it tightly. "Kanan! Er, Master. Is there a problem?" He noticed Hera standing next to Kanan, all traces of amusement hidden, and he grinned sheepishly.

"I'm sorry, Father." Leia said, finishing pinning up her second bun and pushing Ezra's hand away and then shoving him off-screen. "Yes, I'll bring him. We're on our way." She glared at him before immediately facing her father and giving the crowd a winning smile. She pressed a button, and the image flickered away.

Viceroy Organa turned towards the couple. "Teenagers," he groaned comically.

Kanan couldn't agree more.

-

Ezra and Leia walked down the hallway in companionable silence. Ever since Leia had helped out the Ghost crew by giving up three ships on Lothal a few years back, she and Ezra had kept in touch and had remained pretty close.

"Do you have any idea what this mission is about?" Ezra asked his friend curiously. Leia looked over at him, running her fingers over her buns and tucking in any stray strands.

"Yours or mine?" She said with a grin. Ezra rolled his eyes. "I'm afraid mine's classified, Bridger. Although..." She looked thoughtful for a moment. "If it's a success, everyone will know what happened anyway."

"Then what's the harm in telling me?" Ezra said, shoving his hands in his pockets and leaning slightly forward. "Ooh, but what if it's not a success?"

Leia glared at him but held up her hands. "Fine. The only thing I can tell you is that it has to do with the plans for the Death Star." Ezra's jaw dropped, and Leia shot him another look. "That's it."

"How come you always get the cool missions?" Ezra whined. Leia jabbed at his side, but Ezra whirled back before from a tingle of warning in the force.

"Our ideas of 'cool' are very different," Leia said. She came to a stop in front of a conference room. Inside, her father was busy discussing something with Kanan and Hera, so she turned back around towards Ezra. "Besides, you haven't even heard the mission report." Her eyes twinkled. "You may like it yet."

Ezra groaned. "You say that every time. Raising my hopes just to crush them later."

Leia smiled and put a hand on his arm. "May the force be with you, Ezra. Be safe." She used her other hand to press a button that opened the door. She pushed Ezra in.

"Hey!" He cried out.

Leia ignore him. "Father, I am preparing to get R2D2 and C3PO to leave. I also have the plans."

The Viceroy nodded his assent. "Good. Be safe, Leia. I love you. Say goodbye to your Mother again before you go."

"I love you, too." She said. "Good afternoon, Master Jarrus, Captain Syndulla." She waited for their nod back and turned, pressing a button to shut the door behind her.

"Mr. Bridger," Bail Organa said, waving a hand to several empty chairs besides the others. "Please take a seat." Hera smiled knowingly over at him as he slid down into a chair next to Kanan. He looked over at her and grimaced. An unruly tuft of hair on his forehead bounced, and she made a face.

Ezra tilted his head to the side in confusion, and she mimed licking her hand and petting down a piece of hair on her forehead. Ezra's cheeks flamed, but he pressed it down and tucked it back.

"Hera," he mouthed. "I'm not fourteen anymore."

"I know," she said fondly. "But you'll always be my little Loth-Rat."

The Viceroy cleared his throat, and both Hera and Ezra snapped to attention. Apparently he'd already started discussing the mission.

"Sorry," Hera said, cheeks pink with embarrassment.

Kanan raised an eyebrow under his blindfold. "Is there something I'm missing?" He swung his head in Ezra's direction.

"Let's just get on with the assignment, shall we?" Bail Organa's infinite patient expression was beginning to fracture on his face.

"Anyway, Ezra, as I was saying and telling your Master and Captain before you came in, we've been getting several strange signals traced back to Malachor in the last few weeks."

Ezra's jaw dropped. "Malachor?! But... that's impossible! The only person never confirmed to get off was..."

"Fulcrum," Hera finished, eyes wide.

"Ahsoka is still alive?" Ezra gasped. "We thought she died! There's no way she survived that fight with Vader." He turned to Kanan. "Right? We couldn't have just left her there."

Kanan stroked his beard, deep in thought. He pursed his lips. "Ezra, think about it. I never felt her death confirmed in the Force. And I'm guessing that you never did, either. Your bond with her, while silenced, I don't think was broken. There's a slim chance that these signals are actually from Fulcrum."

"We have to go get her!" Ezra said, standing up and gesturing wildly, just nearly avoiding smacking Kanan in the face. "It's my fault we left her; it's my responsibility to go get her back!"

"Ezra, this might not be real. This could very well be a trap by the Empire," Hera said. She shook her head, lekku twisting. "I don't know if this is smart for you to go on."

The Viceroy sighed. "We figured it may be a trap. However, Fulcrum has important intel and knowledge about... key aspects of the rebellion and its participants that could seriously be put to use right about now. On the off chance that this isn't a trap, we really need her." He hesitated for a moment, taking in everyone's facial expressions before continuing. "And we - Mon Mothma, some of the other leaders, and I - have chosen Ezra to go alone for this."

Ezra's eyes lit up. "Absolutely!"

Hera smacked her hands on the table. Kanan looked appalled. "Absolutely not! Viceroy, he's only nineteen!"

The Viceroy smiled patiently. "Exactly, Captain, he's nineteen. He's of the legal age, both on Alderaan and on Lothal. He also has Jedi training and has spent years surviving and thriving on his own."

Ezra winced. "I don't know if you should call it thriving, so to say..."

The Viceroy ignored him and continued. "Plenty capable to go do a search and rescue mission, don't you think? And if this really is Fulcrum, don't you think she be more likely to listen to and approach Ezra if he's alone, rather than with a huge group of people?"

"But what if it isn't her? What if this is a trap?" Hera argued. She glanced over at Kanan and gave him a sharp jab to back her up.

The Viceroy's expression shifted just a teensy bit. "Then it wouldn't be the first time Ezra has escaped the Empire on his own." He sighed. "Look, in any other situation, we typically would not send out a teenager to do the job unless it was absolutely necessary; as a parent, I completely sympathize with you on this. But in this case, Ezra is our only hope. He's in training to become a Jedi, he's elusive, sneaky, innovative. I believe that he can do this."

Hera frowned, disagreement clear on her face. "Kanan?"

Kanan's mouth twitched into a straight line. "I don't agree with this any more than you do, Hera, but I do think Ezra could handle it. If I had continued to be Depa Billaba's Padawan, I could have potentially already been doing missions on my own. Some nineteen year olds were even knighted during the Clone War."

Ezra fist pumped the air. "Yes!" He jumped up and starting running around and circles, whooping with excitement.

Hera looked up at the Viceroy and saw new found hesitation and regret of his decision in his eyes. She shrugged. "I warned you."

-

Zeb swung out of the Phantom and landed lightly in front of the crew. Ezra was shifting nervously back and forth, flipping through the report he'd been given regarding the signals. The landing strip they were on was overrun by attendants and rebel pilots doing maintenance on their ships. They ran around the Phantom and its crew like they were invisible.

"Alright, kid, I think you're set. You've got enough fuel and food to make it there and back three times over." He leaned in so only Ezra could hear him. "And I put in some extra credits for ya to do what ya want with. Don't tell Hera." He winked and then resumed at a normal voice. "Your lucky Stormtrooper helmet's on the kitchen table." Ezra's eyes lit up.

"I hope you didn't stink the Phantom up already," Ezra said, teasing. Zeb ruffled the hair on his head and pushed him away, snorting.

"Good luck, kit." He said, briefly resting a hand on top of his head.

Sabine pushed in and shoved Zeb out of the way. "Alright, alright, big sister coming through. It's my turn to tell the kid bye." She put a hand on his arm. "I put some paper and pencils for sketching next to Zeb's helmet." Ezra opened his mouth to say something, and Sabine rolled her eyes. "Yes, I left you an extra blue this time."

"Thanks guys!" Ezra said, beaming. He reached out to throw an arm around each of their necks but was immediately knocked back by Chopper running into his legs.

**Oi, Loth-Rat! Finally CaptainHeraSyndulla has gotten my messages and has decided to send you away.**

"Aw, quit it, Chop; you're just bummed that the Viceroy said you were too untrustworthy to go on this mission. What's the word he used? 'Unpredictable.'" Ezra snickered as Chopper beeped indignantly. "Yeah, yeah, I'll miss you, too."

**You are misunderstanding me again, human. You need to get your brain reevaluated.**

"Alright, alright, go along now Chopper." Hera walked up next, patting the top of Chopper's dome and shooing him back. The droid rammed into Ezra's legs again, more gently this time with a pointed look from Hera, then wheeled off to go mess with Zeb.

Hera smoothed down Ezra's hair, and he squirmed to get away. "Your hair! It just never stays down," she said in amazement. He groaned.

"I don't know why everyone's acting like this," he said. "This isn't the last time we're ever going to see each other."

"You're just so grown up," Hera said. She pressed her palm to his cheek for a moment. "Kanan and I are both very proud of you, and we know your parents would be, too." His eyes filled, and she pulled him in for a hug, pretending not to notice when he sniffed and wiped his eyes.

Ezra could feel the pride and worry flowing through the Force, and then something seemed to shift in her Force signature, and he jerked back.

Hera leaned back too, confused. Ezra looked at her with wide eyes. "Hera, don't panic, but I think there's something... different about you..."

Hera's look of confusion immediately turned into one of amusement. "Ezra, do you think you can keep a secret?" He nodded, and she leaned in close to his ear. "I'm pregnant."

Ezra blinked. "Wha-what?" He looked at her, then over at Kanan from where he was talking to Sabine, then back to her. "Seriously?!"

She laughed. "Apparently, human/Twi'lek hybrids are common, just rare. I called Rex and he said he could give me the contacts of another family in our situation."

"That's awesome!" Ezra said. "What did Kanan say?"

Her happy expression sobered a little. "I haven't figured out how to tell him yet. But if you're able to sense a change, then I'm sure he'll be able to."

"I'm happy for you," Ezra said. "You two will be great parents."

Hera smiled. "I don't know, I think we already did a good enough job with you and Sabine." Ezra grinned back.

Kanan walked up behind Hera and cleared his throat. "Hey, do you think I'll have time to talk to my Padawan before he has to leave? Because he seems awfully popular right now and I'd hate to be a distraction." He said, the corners of his mouth twitching up into a smile. She snorted and whacked his arm gently.

"I'll leave you two alone." With one final glowing smile at Ezra, she left to go talk to the others.

Kanan put a hand on Ezra's shoulder. "Ezra, I know that this mission may have gotten your hopes up about Ahsoka being alive, but don't let it bias you. Trust in the Force; if you get to Malachor, and you have a bad feeling about it, it may be a trap. This may be all some elaborate scheme by the Empire to lure you away for capture. Be careful."

Ezra bowed slightly. "I will, Master." Kanan tilted his head forward in response. Ezra waited a moment for him to say something else, and when it didn't look like Kanan would, his shoulders drooped a little. He turned to board the Phantom.

"Wait," Kanan called out. He rubbed the back of his head awkwardly. Ezra paused, a hopeful expression on his face. "If you need anything, just call us. I know it's a four day journey out to the Outer Rim from here, and the Viceroy said to use your communicator only in emergencies, but we can be there as fast as you need us." Kanan said. Ezra nodded and smiled to himself as he turned around again.

Kanan didn't need to say 'I Love You' to show he cared. He shared it in other ways instead.

"And Ezra?" Ezra stopped and turned around. Again. Kanan finally smiled. "May the Force be with you."

In a flash, Ezra ran back down the ramp and threw his arms around Kanan. Kanan grunted and staggered back in surprise, but returned the gesture, pressing a hand against the back of his head and holding him a little tighter than expected, like he didn't want to let go.

When Ezra finally got on board the Phantom and sat down in the pilot's seat, he looked out the window down towards his crew. Hera had stepped up next to Kanan with a hand on his arm, and Sabine was standing to her right. Zeb was on Kanan's left. And Chopper was waving his arms in goodbye at Hera's feet. Ezra flicked on the engines and looked at his family one last time before flying off.

He didn't know that this was the last time he'd ever see them.

-

The four day journey to Malachor was long, boring, and lonely. Ezra missed the companionate feel of the Crew on the Ghost; eating old stormtrooper rations by yourself wasn't as fun as throwing them at Zeb. He spent most of the trip out there either sleeping, meditating, or going over the files Organa had given him.

The last page in the file was a handwritten memo from the Viceroy saying something about how the Empire was probably too busy with their other more immediate plans than to take time out to check out these signals. Ezra vaguely wondered what their 'other, more immediate' plans were and if that's what Leia's mission was about. He wondered how that was going for her. Hopefully she was having a slightly more entertaining time than he was.

When he finally came up upon the black husk of a planet they called Malachor, the temperature in the Phantom dropped several degrees, and the hair on the back of Ezra's neck stood up. He shivered. This is the one place he never wanted to ever return to.

He turned on the scanning sensors Sabine let him borrow and sat back while it scanning the planet for a count of life forms; better safe than sorry when dealing with the Empire.

He leaned back in the chair and shut his eyes. The scan would take at least half of a standard hour, and Kanan was always up his butt about taking some time to meditate.

Ezra focused on his breathing, slow and deep, and began his descent into the Force.

At first it started out peaceful, and then he started getting flashes of the last time he was on Malachor. The exertion and effort it took to raise the walls in the temple. The soft, red glow of the holocron. The look of terror on the Inquisitor's face just before Maul killed her. The echo of Kanan's scream of pain when Maul burned his eyes out. The glint of Vader's helmet as how towered over him. The swirls and hums as Ahsoka's white sabers hit Vader's red one. His final glimpse of Ahsoka throwing her hand out to send him back. The steely gold glint of Maul's eyes.

With a gasp, Ezra's eyes flew open. He gripped his armrests tightly and jumped up. He panicked and swung his head side to side trying to figure out where he was. When he realized he was on the Phantom, he tried to let out a slow breath. He slowly loosened his grip one finger at a time and leaned forward, head in his hands.

**BEEP. BEEP. BEEP.**

Ezra looked up. The scanner's results were back in: only one life form was on the planet. He shook his head and did his best to push the unwanted memories from his mind. He could focus on that later; he had a job to do. He tilted the thruster forward, moving in towards the atmosphere.

"Well, here goes nothing..."

\- 

A dead flashlight, an empty rations pack, and five hours later, Ezra flopped on the ground at the entrance to the Sith temple, utterly discouraged. It was a lot easier trying to find one ex-Jedi with five other crew members all split up in different directions than just searching by yourself.

In the last several hours, he'd trekked all over the underground catacombs, the surrounding 2 miles radius of the temple, and even the upper levels of the temple which he could climb into. Still no sign of Fulcrum. Either she was hiding from him, or he was missing something.

He groaned, turning his supply bag over and shaking it out. A blaster, knife, holopic, and several empty wrappers fell out. He flopped on his back.

 _WWKJD?_ What would Kanan Jarrus Do? Ezra's motto for every tough situation in life. He rested his palms over his eyelids. _Use the Force. Of course._

Ezra screwed up his face in concentration. Reaching out his hands in front of him, he focused on broadcasting his message through the Force to as wide of a radius as possible.

 _Ahsoka._ Ezra opened his eyes. He could feel the vibrations of the message through the Force, but felt no response. He closed his eyes and repeated the same action again. _Ahsoka, can you hear me?_

 _Ezra?_ A familiar voice rang out amongst the silence.

He froze. If we were being honest, he'd say he honestly didn't really expect an answer. _Is it really you?_ Ezra said, almost in disbelief.

"It's really me," a voice said, amused. Ezra shot up and grabbed his lightsaber off his belt. A familiar Togruta was standing on the steps below him, both hands raised carefully. She was eyeing his mess of a bag with distaste.

Ezra immediately sheathed his lightsaber, his mouth hanging wide open. "I... We... We thought you were dead!"

Ahsoka shrugged and gave him a mysterious little half smile. "Details. I think we need to talk."

-

"So..." Ezra said, frowning. "What you're saying is that you've been in _exile_ for the past 4 years? Seriously?!"

Ahsoka looked mildly uncomfortable. After Ezra had taken her back to the ship, they'd went on their way back to Alderaan. Ezra gave Ahsoka some new clothes, some food, and an actual bed and waited while she took a shower before they talked. Viceroy Organa was thrilled to have received Ezra's message that Fulcrum was still alive, but he was still concerned that there might be another trap involved. He promised to pass on the message that both were safe to Kanan and Hera for him before signing off.

"Exile is a... touchy subject among the Jedi." She smiled to herself like there was a joke. When she saw Ezra wasn't laughing, she hastily continued. "I don't expect you to understand," she said. Ezra could feel the guilt radiating off of her. She closed her eyes, struggling to come up with the best way to word it. "It was for your own good; I was trying to protect you from Vader. He figured out my identity; he would have been able to track me down again. That would have put the whole Rebellion in danger."

"The Rebellion could've helped you! Put you in the Protection Program! Hell, sent you to Tatooine for all I know! But you just sat there for _years_ and did nothing! You didn't even let us know you were alive! We mourned for you!" Ezra looked at her, feeling completely and utterly betrayed. Sure, he was glad that she was alive, but that emotion had been quickly overpowered by the anger he felt as they'd started talking.

"I spent most of the last several years meditating; Ezra, the reason I've come back now is because I can feel that the Empire is about to do something big." Ahsoka spoke urgently, eyes silently pleading. "We need to prevent it before it happens."

"How do you know it hasn't already happened yet?" Ezra said pettily, crossing his arms and leaning back.

"You can feel it, can't you?" Ahsoka asked. "The Force has been giving off subtle warnings for the past several weeks. It's gotten really bad in the last few days especially, and I expect it to only get worse. Whatever the Empire is doing, I suspect they've already started." Ezra remained silent, staring down at the floor of the Phantom in thought. She waited for his response, but Ezra only frowned more and pursed his lips. He avoided her gaze.

Ahsoka sighed and rubbed a hand over her eyes. "When you're ready to talk, I'll be here."

Ezra snapped up and looked Ahsoka straight in the eyes, face hard and determined.

"I'll never be ready to talk to you."

-

 **TIME:** 24 hours (2 days) before the destruction of Alderaan

 **LOCATION:** Travelling through hyperspace

-

Yeah, it was a lot harder to avoid Ahsoka than Ezra thought it would be. The Phantom wasn't actually that big, and they were stuck together on the way back to Alderaan for two more days. Ezra had already done all minor repairs he could do in Hyperspace and cleaned the ship from top to bottom. And he wasn't allowed to use any more communications to talk to any of his friends because the Viceroy was worried it would get hacked and tracked by the Empire. (And also because he had probably gotten irritated with the... relatively high number of video messages Ezra had sent him of him singing a popular Cantina song over the course of the past 48 hours). Plus, Ezra's willpower of staying mad wasn't the strongest, and he knew that's what Fulcrum was banking on.

Ahsoka hadn't really tried to force Ezra to talk to her since their disagreement. She kept mostly to herself by meditating, only bothering to ask him questions before she used something. Ezra wondered why she'd spend more time meditating when that's all she'd done for the past few years. Even though it wasn't as teched up as the Ghost, the Phantom still had holo-net. They weren't Neanderthals.

Ezra sighed and leaned back in his chair. According to the clock, it was getting kind of late, and he still hadn't eaten yet. He bounced once, twice then stood up and stretched.

He walked into the kitchen area and began rummaging around in the cabinet for something other than stolen rations. He grinned when he found a bruised and slightly squishy Meiloorun fruit, but picked it up anyway and bumped the door shut with his hip. He turned around to go sit back down; Ahsoka was already there, leaning casually against the wall and inspecting a wrapper. Ezra took a deep breath and pushed his shoulders back, planning on walking by without another word.

 _Don't talk to me, don't talk to me, pleaseeee._ Ezra silently begged, his resolve already crumpling.

"How's Kanan?" Ahsoka said suddenly. Ezra's shoulders dropped, and he paused from the doorway.

 _Karabast._ "Blind." He turned his head to the side. "But then again, you were actually there for that." Well, if she was going to try to guilt trip him, he was going to do it right on back.

Ahsoka let out a sharp breath. She looked down at the ground. "What about Rex?" She swallowed nervously.

Ezra stood for a moment, debating what to tell her. He looked at her; she honestly looked nervous and afraid for what he might say.

That didn't surprise him. He always suspected that there was slightly more to their relationship than he were told. He and Sabine had had a running pool on it. You know, before Malachor and all.

"Rex is alive," he said slowly. "He thinks you're dead, and he misses you. He cried for days, whenever he thought we couldn't hear him." Ezra swallowed. "But we could." Ahsoka's face crumpled, and she turned away briefly. When she looked back at him, her face was emotionless.

"Do you know if he's on Alderaan?" She said, failing to stop the hope shining in her eyes. "Does he know about this?"

Ezra let out a deep breath. He shook his head. "I don't know. It's been a while since I've heard from him, actually. Viceroy Organa sent him on some extended mission a while back. That's as far as my clearance goes." He paused, a memory jogging his mind. "Actually, I think Hera talked to him the other day. So wherever he is, he's okay." He lifted his head back up and continued to walk back into the cockpit.

"Thank you," a small voice said from behind him. Ezra paused and twisted his head to the side. He nodded and shut the door.

-

 **TIME:** 1 hour before the destruction of Alderaan

 **Location:** Travelling through hyperspace

-

Ezra woke up with a gasp and immediately screwed up his face in pain. Ever since Ahsoka had pointed out the warning tremors in the Force, he'd been feeling them more and more.

Groaning, he swung his legs over the side of the bed and stood up. Rubbing his eyes and yawning, he made his way through to the cockpit and checked the charts.

Only 1 more hour until they made it back to Alderaan. Great.

Another wave of pain flashed through the Force, and Ezra grimaced. He gripped his side until the ache faded, and decided maybe talking to Ahsoka about this was okay. He needed answers. He twirled around in the chair for a bit, trying to build up the will to go talk to her.

He finally got up and stuck his head through the door. Ahsoka was meditating in the supply room, but she opened her eyes and looked at him when he came out.

"They're getting worse." She stated, reading the expression on his face. She didn't even bother to ask. She rested her hands on her knees. "I can feel them too, you know."

He sighed and leaned against the door frame. "And? I mean, what's your plan? You've dropped off the face of the Galaxy for the last four years! Things have changed, Ahsoka! The Empire's grown stronger. Like, a _lot_ stronger. You can't just run in lightsabers a blazing." He was waving his arm around to dramatize his point, and his voice had gotten louder and harder with each passing sentence.

She looked up at him sadly. "When did you grow up so much? Look at you; you used to be this impulsive, over-eager little Padawan. But now..." She left her point hanging.

Ezra bit the inside of his lip and mentally groaned. He hadn't grown up _that_ much. "Like I said, Ahsoka, things have changed." His voice was calmer now, and he glanced back in at the time.

30 more minutes. He honestly didn't know how much more of this he could stand.

He turned back around to tell her that she needed to gather her stuff up and get ready to get off of his ship, thank you very much, when he felt the Phantom rattle with an energy wave of some sort.

"What the-" he turned to run into the cockpit but immediately felt immense pain strike him through the Force. He staggered back and grabbed a table, hunched over in agony. But Ahsoka wasn't fairing much better; she was gripping her meditation mat with her left hand so hard that her knuckles were turning white, and her other hand was placed over her heart. Her eyes were screwed tightly shut.

Ezra squeezed his own eyes shut and sunk down against the wall. This pain... this torture... it was horrible. It felt like millions of people were just... gone, just like that.

And then it got worse.

The mental bond he had with Kanan shattered. The bond that had sparked the very first time they saw each other, back when Ezra was still living and stealing from stormtrooper on the streets, which had then grown over the years through crisis after crisis and mission after mission as they began to care for each other, something so otherworldly and special and just right that even Zeb looked amongst them with jealously.

The blow from this shattering knocked all the air out of his lungs, and he gasped like a fish out of water. It was ripped from his mind in an instant. The slight hum of his mind that was just _Kanan_ was gone, leaving nothing but a gaping, raw wound in its place. There wasn't even time to protest.

 _This must be what Kanan meant all those years ago, the worst pain a Jedi could ever feel._ And Ezra cried out, because he knew that only one thing could cause their bond to break like that.

The agony of it all made his mind woozy, and when the darkness came in and swallowed him up, he welcomed the release.

-

When he woke up, Ahsoka was piloting. Her face was devoid of all color, and her hands were shaky as she slowly steered the Phantom amongst huge scatterings of rubble and rock. He vaguely noticed they were out of hyperspace and filed it away. His mind was still blurry and unfocused, reeling with the aftershocks.

Ezra looked down; he was in the co-pilots chair; Ahsoka must've dragged him there after he passed out. He rubbed his aching head and purposefully avoided the festering wound in the back of his mind.

"Wha-what happened?" He said. He meant to sound strong, but his voice cracked halfway through, and Ahsoka saw him for what he truly was: just a sad, scared little boy. He could see the look of terror on his face reflected in her eyes. "We need to get to Alderaan. Something happened. Kanan-"

Ahsoka shook her head, and Ezra trailed off slowly. "Ezra... We're here."

Ezra looked out the window. There was nothing there but rubble - there was no planet.

"What are you talking about?" He scoffed, growing angry. "There's nothing there! Where is it?" He looked down at the map on the controls.

**LOCATION: CORE WORLDS: ALDERAAN**

He looked back up at the rocks, and it hit him. The empty space, the dust, the remains. The silencing of millions of voices, the sudden breaking of Kanan's bond.

_Kanan. Hera. Zeb. Sabine. Chopper. No, no, no, no **no!**_

Ahsoka watched all of this unfold on the teenager's face - the confusion, the understanding, the horror, and the grief - until he buried his face in his hands and wept for those he had lost.

She wept too, for the millions of people whose souls cried out; of the destruction of such a beautiful planet and culture; of those she called friends; of the annihilation of a complete and utter planet. Her breath shuddered as she realized the gravity of the situation.

_Oh, Anakin. What did you do?_

-

_Chopper_

_._

_._

_._

_Sabine_

_._

_._

_._

_Zeb_

_._

_._

_._

_Hera_

_._

_._

_._

_Kanan_

_._

_._

_._

_Alderaan_

_._

_._

_._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ... Please don't kill me. I did warn y'all! R &R. I'd love any feedback y'all could give me! Thanks to everyone who is commented thus far; you have encouraged me to write these chapters so quickly!!
> 
> Personal headcanon for this chapter: The crew called Ezra "Loth-Rat" as a term of endearment. (Except for when it's Chopper, because he never says anything nice).


	4. The One Where Luke and Ezra (Finally) Meet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's been 3 years, and Ezra still isn't taking it well. Also, Luke finally shows up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Long time no update... Oops. I got reinspired by the Rebels premiere, and it totally put me in the writing mood.
> 
> Enjoy!

"I think," Ezra choked out. "I think I need to get some air." The man coughed hoarsely and cleared his throat. He only wiped at his eyes after turning from Rey, trying to hide the sight. He stepped outside where Luke was still catching up with Artoo. He laid a brief hand on his arm, and when Luke stood up in concerned, waved him off. He gestured in Rey's direction, and Luke looked over with heavy eyes. Ezra disappeared from sight with a wave of his cloak.

Rey was horrified at the start of Ezra's story. She couldn't imagine having her new family - Finn, Poe, BB-8, hell, even General Organa - being ripped from her like his Ghost Crew was from him. She shuddered at the thought, and rubbed her arms to warm herself up. Ezra's description of the destruction of Alderaan chilled her to the bone; of course, she'd heard stories from her days on Jakku, but this was different. She wondered briefly if that's what she felt from Starkiller Base, too.

Someone wrapping a blanket around her shoulders jerked her out of her thoughts, and she looked up to see Master Luke moving to sit in the chair next to Ezra's. She murmured her thanks and pulled it tighter over her shoulders.

"Still not used to the cold yet?" Luke said, a gentle smile on his face. She shook her head, and a faraway look shone in his eyes. "I was the same way, when I first got off of Tatooine. And then on Hoth." He made a disgusted noise and went silent, lost in his memories.

"Do you know?" Rey said suddenly.

Luke looked at her. "About Ezra's past? Yes. I think having you here is starting to remind him of his own Padawan days." Rey felt a flash of guilt run through her.

Rey glanced out the cave entrance - no Ezra in sight. "How is Ezra still so... so..."

"Outgoing? Energetic?" Luke suggested. "Happy?" He said a little bit softer. Rey bit her lip and nodded. "He wasn't always like that. In fact, when I first met him, 'happy' would have probably been the last word I would've chosen to describe him."

"Really? How did you meet? What was he like then?" Rey asked, her curiosity radiating off of her in waves that Luke could practically taste.

"Well, for one, we were a lot younger than we are now..."

\---

**TIME: 3 years after the destruction of Alderaan**

**LOCATION: The Resistance base on Hoth**

\---

When Ezra had gotten the call from Leia to come to Hoth at his earliest convenience, he severely misunderestimated the cold. And not only that, but he'd gotten lost in the ice tunnels at least four times just trying to find command.

Ugh. He wished Sabine was here; she was always so much better at directions than he was.

He frowned. A brief wave of sorrow washed over him, and he cursed himself mentally for thinking about _them._

It had been three years. Enough was enough.

Up ahead, the sound of a couple arguing was echoing down the hallway, and Ezra pushed those thoughts out of his mind. He rounded the corner with an eyebrow raised. He could use the entertainment.

The girl barked a laughed. "You're imagining things," she said. Ezra snorted; of course it was Leia arguing. Who else could it be?

"Am I?" The man retorted. Ezra leaned against the wall, content with watching until she noticed him. "Then why are you following me? Afraid I was going to leave without giving you a goodbye kiss?"

The girl sneered. "I'd just as soon kiss a Wookie." The corners of the man's lips twitched upwards.

"I can arrange that. You could use a good kiss!"

Ezra couldn't help it; he just had to say something.

"Funny, that's what she comes to me for." The man whirled around. Ezra waggled his eyebrows. "If you know what I mean." The man's eyes grew wide.

Leia peeked out around his arm, and her face lit up with a grin. "Ezra!" She rushed towards him, forgetting all about the argument.

The man threw his hands up in the air and stomped off, muttering under his breath.

"It's good to see you," Leia said. Her eyes roved over his face; his hair had gotten a lot longer, and he had it pulled back into a ponytail - she didn't want to guess who he was trying to emulate - and he had grown a few inches taller. There were dark circles under his eyes, and the old sparkle in them had disappeared. There was a crease in between his eyebrows from all the time he spent frowning; even looking at her now, not smiling, but not scowling either, they were still there. He looked worn, tired, and angry at the world.

He inclined his head towards her and then jerked it in the direction Han had left in. "Who's that nerf-herder?"

"Nerf-herder... That's a new one." Leia rolled her eyes. "This guy who thinks that I'm in love with him, just because I personally don't think he should leave Hoth."

Ezra raised an eyebrow.

Leia shrugged. "What? He's a natural leader and a good pilot!" Her eyes were dreamy, and she sighed in spite of herself.

Ezra snorted. "I'm sure he is."

Leia snapped out of it and crossed her arms, adopting her trademark scowl. "You know what? You're just as bad as he is."

Ezra shrugged. "That may be true, but you love me anyways."

Her eyes grew softer. "I missed you, Ezra. I haven't seen you since after-" she cut off abruptly.

The almost happy look on Ezra's face shattered and was replaced by a dark glower. "Don't," he warned.

"I didn't mean to-"

"Drop it, Leia." Ezra warned. His eyes flashed dangerously, and she could practically cut the tension in the air with a knife. "Now, why exactly did you waste my time by bringing me to this wasteland of a planet?"

Leia blinked and her mouth fell slightly open. A look of hurt flashed across her eyes before she clamped her mouth shut and looked up at him with a cool expression. "There's somebody here I wanted you to meet," she said. She swiveled around on her heel and began stalking off down the hall. Ezra followed her, the Force radiating around him darkly.

"Ezra, do you really need to be so mean to the princess?" Ezra looked over to the side of the hallway. Kanan was standing there, arms crossed, leaning against the wall. He looked tired and disappointed, and blood was caked over his face and clothes. Ezra averted his eyes and passed him, and the image had faded when he glanced back around.

Ever since The Disaster, these... hallucinations of the Ghost crew would pop up and follow him around at random. All of them had appeared at one point or another, even a green, young twi'lek girl who he'd never seen before. Sabine would look accusing, Hera sad, Zeb angry, and Kanan... Kanan always just looked tired and disappointed, which was the worst.

He showed up the most.

Ezra knew that they weren't real - the blood had to be fake; after all, Alderaan had exploded: there was absolutely nothing left of them but rocks.

Besides, Kanan never said anything about there being Force Ghosts.

He hadn't noticed that Leia had come to an abrupt stop in command and almost ran into her. She turned around and glared and resumed barking orders for someone to bring her Luke, and _stat._

A young lieutenant rushed out the door beside Ezra and gave him a frantic look. Ezra did not pity the poor man who got in Princess Leia Organa's way. That imperial on Lothal who'd "lost" her ships under his watch had gotten so demoted that some of the Stormtroopers thought he was a myth.

Leia had walked over to the table in the center of the room with a hologram of all of the sensors depicted. She drummed her fingers impatiently on the counter for a few moments. Ezra settled back in a corner, content to sit back and avoid the curious stares from the group of rebels by Leia.

The same officer who had rushed away came barreling back in. "Princess, Commander Skywalker never checked in. Nobody has heard from him in almost an hour." Leia was beginning to look less and less impatient and more and more concerned.

She pulled a communicator out of her jacket pocket and punched a button. Nobody responded. She tried again. Same response. She huffed angrily and whirled around.

"You," she pointed to the same man who ran the first errand for her. "Find protocol droid C3PO and tell him to alert Commander Solo that Commander Skywalker is missing, and ask if he's seen him. And tell him to turn his kriffing communicator on!" She slammed hers down on the counter, and the officer shot up from his post and bolted. The other rebels in the room grew quiet and stared at her for a moment, then resumed working.

Ezra shrugged. Must be a common occurrence.

"She's a fiery one, ain't she?" Ezra didn't even bother to look up. He knew it would just be Zeb glaring down at him. "It looks like she's doing all she can to help _her_ friends. Why didn't you?" Ezra shut his eyes and slowly breathed out, counting his breaths in a calming meditation exercise.

The sound of a buzzing communicator echoed, and he heard Leia snap something into it about needing to talk to Han. It was a deck officer, calling from the Taun-Taun stables.

"Princess, Commander Solo just went out to look for Commander Skywalker. He hadn't heard from her either."

"He WHAT?!" He heard Leia exclaim. Ezra opened his eyes and did his best to look around Not-Zeb. This was new. "It's almost dusk; he's going to freeze!"

The deck officer shuffled his feet. "That's what I said, ma'am, but Commander Solo seems to have a, er, mind of his own."

Leia frowned in concentration. "I'm coming down there." The deck officer opened his mouth to say something, and she hung up on him.

She moved to walk briskly out of command but paused in the doorway. She looked over at Ezra and raised an eyebrow. "Coming?" She moved out, and Ezra slipped around Zeb to hurry to catch up.

"Is this what the Rebellion is like now?" Ezra said, somewhat sneeringly. He had caught up to her and was walking quickly by her side.

Leia narrowed her eyes and stuck her nose up in the air. Her tone was scathing. "Only on days when the likes of you are here, _Padawan_ Bridger."

Ezra skidded to a stop in the middle of the hallway. A Rodian muttered something under his breath as he swerved to avoid running into him. Leia didn't stop to wait on him and disappeared around a corner.

"It's Master, actually," he called out. She didn't respond. He stood watching her go.

\---

The next morning, Ezra found Leia again. She was in the Med Bay, watching an unconscious blonde boy float in a bacta tank. She didn't turn when he slipped in, but somehow he knew she realized it was him.

Even unconscious, the boy's force presence was absolutely blinding, even more so than his and Kanan's used to be combined. He had felt it from the other side of the base and had staked it out. He resisted the urge to cover his eyes and turned to Leia.

Ezra knew Leia was force sensitive, at least a little, from the strong mental shields she seemingly had built up unknowingly. He wondered if she could see the boy's light too.

"Who is he?" Ezra asked.

"Commander Luke Skywalker. He's the one who helped to break me out of the Death Star when my mission went bad all those years ago." Ezra turned back towards Luke. "He's also the one who destroyed the Death Star."

Ezra's head whipped back around. "What?! You're telling me that this... this _kid_ is the one who blew up the Death Star?" 

Leia nodded. "Don't look so surprised, Bridger. You're not the only talented kid in the bunch." Ezra ignored the jab and turned back around to study Luke's face.

His face was pretty beaten up and bruised from whatever had happened to him outside the base, and his bright blonde hair floated wispily around his face like a halo. He seemed to be a little on the short side and sort of scrawny.

Ezra looked at Leia in disbelief. "There's no way," he said.

"Believe it or not," she said, turning away to look back up at Luke. "It's none of my concern."

Ezra could practically taste the sass. He opened his mouth to retort when Luke started and began to thrash about in panic. He jerked his head up and his eyes flew open. He met Ezra's gaze, blue eyes meeting blue eyes, and a connection sparked. Curious, Ezra tilted his head to the side slightly. But when Luke's eyes slowly began to droop and the robot aids began to pull him out of the tank, he quietly slipped out.

\---

Alone in the quarters Leia had given him for the time being, Ezra sat with his head in his hands.

He hadn't felt a spark of a connection like that since... since he first met Kanan. And certainly he'd never met anyone with a force presence as strong as this kid's.

_Kanan._ Their bond wasn't gone... It was just empty. An open wound, festering in his mind. It was a constant reminder of who he had loved and who he had lost.

This kid... This Luke Skywalker... Who was he?

\---

A few hours later, Leia swung by Ezra's quarters with the intention of picking him up to go see Luke. The walk there was quiet and brisk; Leia was obviously still annoyed and slightly... hurt? about their squabble from yesterday. Ezra sniffed and stuck his nose in the air. She started it; she was just as much to blame as he was.

He kind of missed their banter.

She led him into the med wing and down the hall of several pristine recovery centers. The door was open to one of them, and as Ezra approached he could hear voices talking.

"Thanks to you," one said, a light voice he'd never heard before.

"That's two you owe me, Junior." The other said. Ezra narrowed his eyes; that sounded like the nerf-herder from yesterday.

Leia walked into the room, and Ezra followed, remaining in the door. That stuffy old protocol C3PO and his astromech counterpart were standing there, and so were two humans, the beat up looking blonde from the bacta tank and Leia's not-so-secret crush. A Wookie loomed behind him. The scoundrel gave her a huge, devilish grin that turned into a scowl when his gaze landed on Ezra.

"You again," he muttered.

"Leia!" The blonde exclaimed, not even seeming to notice the other boy lurking in the doorway. He beamed at her, happiness streaming through the Force.

Ezra wrinkled up his nose. Gross.

"Well your Worship, looks like you managed to keep me around for a little longer." The brunette said. Ezra just knew Leia was rolling her eyes, even though he couldn't see it.

Leia hmphed and adopted a haughty tone. "I had nothing to do with it. General Rieekan thinks it's dangerous for any ships to leave the system until we've activated the energy shield."

The blonde - Luke - shook his head fondly, watching them bicker. Leia's boyfriend smirked. "That's a good story. I think you just can't bear to let a gorgeous guy like me out of your sight." Ezra mimed retching from behind Leia where she couldn't see, and the scowl returned. Other than that, he seemed perfectly content to ignore Ezra as long as Leia was too.

Leia put her hands on her hips. "I don't know where you get your delusions, laser brains." The Wookie barked a laugh and his friend made a face.

"Laugh it up, fuzzball. But you didn't see us alone in the south passage." Luke raised an eyebrow and whipped his head around towards Leia. Her back stiffened ever so slightly. "She expressed her true feelings for me." The man boasted.

"Oh, I saw you two. If that's what you think expressing feelings is you must be even more self-centered than I thought." Ezra said. Luke's surprised gaze sparked to him. The man flushed, and Leia ignored the comment, clenching her fists.

"Why, you stuck-up, half-witted, scruffy-looking, nerf herder!" Leia spat.

"Hey, that's my line!" Ezra protested.

"Who's scruffy looking?" The man said, an irritated expression on his face. Luke's eyes were flickering back and forth between the two, mouth hanging wide open. The man turned to him. "I must have hit pretty close to the mark to get her all riled up like that, huh, kid?"

"Or you completely missed it," Ezra muttered. Luke's gaze flicked back to him curiously.

"Why, I guess you don't know everything about women yet?" Ezra was just wondering what she meant by that when Leia lunged towards Luke and kissed him. The Force sparked in surprise.

"Wha-?"

She pulled back, glared at the brunette, and turned to walk out. "Ezra, Han. Han, Ezra." She growled. She stomped out.

"What, don't I get a kiss, too?" Ezra called after her. The only response he got was the slamming of the door at the end of the hallway.

Ezra turned back around and surveyed the scene. Luke was leaning back with his hands behind his head, obviously smug. The nerf-herder - Han - was steaming, and his Wookie friend was howling in laughter behind him. C3PO was tutting in disapproval. Han's eyes slid past to meet Ezra's.

Han narrowed his eyes slightly. "Pleasure," Ezra said, tone dropping with sarcasm.

Suddenly, an alarm gave a shrill cry, and the whole room jumped in surprise. An announcer came on after in a dull, monotone voice. "Headquarters personnel, report to command center." It repeated itself several times.

Han groans, and he and Chewie rush out of the room, the droids following.

"Take it easy, kid," Han said. He looked Ezra up and down as he passed, stuck his nose in the air, and sniffed.

"Oh, no," C3PO said. "Please excuse us, Master Luke," he hurried out. "And to you, Master Bridger."

As the droids hobbled down the hallway, Ezra could hear the protocol droid say "doesn't he look familiar?" to his astromech companion. He couldn't hear the other's response.

Ezra turned back into the room. The blonde kid was carefully scrutinizing him. He beamed and stick out a hand. "Luke Skywalker," he said.

"Ezra Bridger." Ezra took the hand offered to him and sat down on the vacant doctor's chair.

"Don't you have to go with the others?" Luke said. His cheeks got red. "Not that I want you to leave or anything, just that-"

Ezra held up a hand. "I'm simply visiting. I'm not stationed here."

Luke's shoulders relaxed. "Oh, okay. Thank gods. Leia is always on my case about not thinking before I speak." Ezra slightly inclined his head forward, and an awkward silence ensued.

Luke narrowed his eyes. "Are you sure we've never met before? You seem really familiar."

Ezra hesitated, not really wanting to tell the kid that he was watching him in the Bacta tank yesterday. "Nope," he lied. "We've never met."

"Well, have you ever visited Tatooine?" Luke said. "I used to live there, you know."

Ezra snorted. "Definitely not. I'm from Lothal."

Luke scrunched up his nose. "It must be your voice." He paused a moment, and then his eyes lit up. "I know! You were the kid in that rebel Transmission a few years back!" Satisfaction glowed in the Force.

Ezra inwardly cringed. The Transmission. That had been a looong time ago. Back when things were right.

"You're right, that was me," Ezra admitted. He pinched the bridge of his nose. This kid's emotions were giving him a real kriffing headache. Someone needed to teach him some mental shielding, and stat.

Ezra wondered if this was how Kanan felt when he first found him, and immediately silenced that thought.

Luke grinned. "You know, I heard that out all the way on Tatooine! It's one of the reasons I wanted to get off planet and help so badly. You know, that kind of reminds me, have you-"

He couldn't take it anymore, Ezra interrupted him. "Do you know how to shield?"

Luke blinked and closed his mouth; he didn't look at all offended, just confused. "Shield?"

"Your emotions. Through the Force."

Luke's eyes grew wide. "You know the Force? Are you a Jedi?"

Ezra sighed as a new wave of Luke's excited curiosity hit him. "Yes, I'm a Jedi. And I'm pretty sure that me and every other Force-sensitive on this PLANET can feel how far you're projecting."

"Projecting?" Luke said. He shook his head quickly, dismissing the word for more important facts. "Do you know Ben? Or Yoda? Ben told me to go to him on Dagobah. Were they your Masters too?"

Ezra's eyes darkened. "I've met Yoda before. But I don't know any Jedi named 'Ben.' Neither of them trained me."

Luke's mouth was wide. "There must be more Jedi out there then! Who's your Master?"

Ezra turned away, the familiar pain back and as gnawing and sharp as ever. "His name was Kanan. Kanan Jarrus."

Luke promptly picked up on Ezra's resentment and anger and grief through the Force, and unlike every other Force sensitive Ezra had come across, didn't shy away. Luke awkwardly patted him on the arm. Ezra looked down at where Luke was touching him and looked at him incredulously. Luke's cheeks reddened, and he withdrew his hand.

"I think we need to start over," Luke said, smiling sheepishly. "No more sad topics." Ezra raised an eyebrow, but deciding to humor him, leaned back to play along.

Luke stuck out a hand and beamed, lighting up the room with his smile. "My name's Luke. Nice to meet you.

"Hi, Luke, I'm Ezra." Ezra stuck out a stiff hand of his own, and Luke shook it, making a face.

"That wasn't so hard, was it?" Luke asked, giggling.

Ezra blinked. He felt something strange and unknown bubble up in his chest.

And for the first time since Alderaan, Ezra Bridger genuinely laughed.

\---

Rey stifled another yawn. She couldn't help it; it had been a long trip, and that climb up the mountain had been a little more taxing than she thought it would be.

Luke abruptly stopped telling the story and craned his neck to see how dark it was outside. "I'm sorry, you must be tired."

"But what about the story?" Rey protested.

Luke gave her a small half smile. "I don't think much is going to change by tomorrow morning," he said. "Come on, I can show you were you can sleep."

Luke led her down and deeper into the mountain, twisting down stone hallways. Rey knew she was definitely going to get lost trying to find her way out tomorrow. Both were silent on their walk, lost in their own thoughts.

He led her to a small room in a narrow hallway of what used to be student quarters in the old Temple.

"If you need anything, Ezra and I are right down the hall." Luke said, gesturing to a room a little ways down with a light still on. He stayed in the doorway and hesitated.

Rey walked to the bed and sat down, bouncing a bit. She looked up at Luke expectantly.

"How's Leia?" He asked.

Rey blinked. "She's grieving. She misses Han." Luke swallowed and looked down the hallway. "And she misses you."

Luke took a deep breath. "Do I need to go back?"

Rey bit the inside of her lip. "I don't know how else we're going to stop him," she said honestly. Luke sighed. She didn't need to clarify who he was.

"That's what I was afraid of." Luke said. He turned and walked down the hall down into the bedroom with the light on.

As Rey got ready for bed, she could hear quiet voices talk for a few minutes, discussing something she couldn't quite make out. Then, the light in the bedroom turned off, and the voices were quiet.

Rey fell asleep as soon as her head hit the pillow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Ezra :(( He's been through so much. 
> 
> Also, someone please talk to me about the new Rebels episodes! Fr I can't decide who Maul was talking about at the end of the latest episode, Palpatine or Obi-Wan.
> 
> R&R.

**Author's Note:**

> Huge thanks to hotsam1 and fizzygingr for putting up with my non-stop brainstorming and ideas! Future chapters will be longer. And since this is an AU, I changed up some of what happened at the end of TFA. Oops. 
> 
> Come talk to me over at my tumblr; I'm Anakien there, too! I'd appreciate any reviews or concrit you guys could give me! :)


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